Now they want to check out everyone's junk...

For those folks who thought they could evade the intrusive nature of TSA scans by not flying, think again.

Forbes is reporting that "Newly uncovered documents show that as early as 2006, the Department of Homeland Security has been planning pilot programs to deploy mobile scanning units that can be set up at public events and in train stations, along with mobile x-ray vans capable of scanning pedestrians on city streets."

A sample streetside scan image from American Sciences & Engineering (via Forbes).

Looks like your "junk" is becoming a whole lot more public.

That's some fine police work there, Big Sis...

In her own words...

According to Janet "Big Sis" Napolitano, the "esteemed" Department of Homeland Security Secretary, her department has been working hard to protect American citizens, "24 hours/day, 7/days a week, 364 days a year."

Thank goodness the really bright ones are in Washington...running things. (At least we know where they are so we can keep an eye on them.)

Scattershot...

Predictions abound…

Now that 2010 is officially here, it’s time to trot out the Magic 8 Ball™ for our annual BlissIndex© New Year’s Predictions®.



*Even though the ObamaCare Healthcare er, Insurance Reform bill will continue to languish in Congress, the Democrats will trumpet having written a bill that contains more pages than all the Harry Potter books put together.


I see dead trees...

*Some of the changes that will be proposed in the Democrats’ House-Senate Conference Committee will mean that health care will not be rationed, per se. Medical procedures, however, will be approved by that stingy guy who doled out gruel in “Oliver.”



More - please? Anything??

*America’s military will continue to become more deeply involved in Afghanistan, but few Americans will give it much consideration (due to the fact that the education of many Americans is so poor that most are unable to locate Afghanistan on a map – let alone be able to spell it).


I know where that is...

*President Barack Obama will refocus his efforts on jobs and the economy. His efforts to improve the current situation will include a second Stimulus package, a raft of new taxes, and an innovative way to beef-up the U.S. Treasury: $10 piggyback rides on Joe Biden.


There is a weight limit...

*As the pressures of the job continue to wear on him, the president will become even more fanatical about getting out on the golf course. His handicap will improve by a couple strokes but the number of cigarettes he burns through will increase inversely.

Smoke 'em if you've got 'em...right Mr. President?

*The federal government will continue to print worthless money…and we’ll continue to spend it.


Spending it like there's no tomorrow...

*Hillary Rodham Clinton, our current Secretary of State, will contemplate resigning after catching heck for the State Dept. not doing more to prevent the Christmas terror incident in Detroit. It will be OK by her, making her next run against Obama that much easier.


Hillary - getting ready for another run?

*Janet Napolitano, Department of Homeland Security secretary, will continue to catch heck for her handling of the Christmas terror incident in Detroit. She will remain on the job but George W. Bush will be fired for the gaffes.


Ja-No...

*The swine flu epidemic will subside, but after another worthless season of horrible programming on NBC, it will be renewed for another run.


Hit me with your best shot...

*You’ll be stuck with another year of…me.

Happy New Year!